Sunday, February 28, 2010
Sigh
In a huge disagreement with my fiancee. The prob is that I don't care....what does that mean? Typically I am trying to talk about it and find a solution. Not this time. I just don't care. I have way too much to deal with, and no time to include childish shit. So here I sit. In bed on the morning that we are supposed to go register for wedding gifts and look at houses......He is still sleeping and I am trying to be super quiet so that I don't wake him and I have some peace. Haha!
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Festival of Difficulty
There is nothing worse than working your ass off to design products, market them, show them to buyers, write orders for them, produce and ship them to the customer and then nothing.....the store either goes out of business or is just avoiding their collection calls. I know that this is an issue in all businesses no matter what the size, but I feel like if these stores knew that if they don't pay me, I don't have any money....they may feel a little bad? Maybe not. WTF! I did everything right, ran credit checks, etc. You just never know. If they would just answer their phone, I could find out if they have any intention of paying or trying to make a payment. I would take payments if they needed me to. Anything!
I talked to someone today that really struck a nerve with me. This person, whom I know through my fiancee is sooooo self consumed. She always goes on and on about how dramatically bad her life is, and how awful she has it. She NEVER asks how things are going, and instead just assumes that she has it so much worse than everyone else. I want to shake her and say...."Life is Hard, for EVERYONE! Welcome to the fucking festival of difficulty. Its not easy, it consistently gets harder, and there is no relief. But the second that you think your life is as bad as it can get, look around you. You don't really have it bad at all! You are blessed, and you take it for granted."
Heres the good. I really don't have may deadlines for tomorrow. The kids go to bed in 15 minutes and then its veg in front of my tivo for a couple hours. Hopefully tomorrow is a day of getting caught up on things. Can't wait. I really need to get my shit in order.
Ok, before I go to bed....what is the fascination with men and their penis's! Do you have to hold it all the time? As I write this I am surrounded by three guys....two little and one big. Two of them are holding their penis's, as if they are going to run away. What happens if you let go? Does the world stop spinning? I wonder if the universe requires that a couple million men at any given second have to hold their dicks or the world stops. Quick, grab your penis.....save the world.
On a bit of a soap box tonight....hehe
I talked to someone today that really struck a nerve with me. This person, whom I know through my fiancee is sooooo self consumed. She always goes on and on about how dramatically bad her life is, and how awful she has it. She NEVER asks how things are going, and instead just assumes that she has it so much worse than everyone else. I want to shake her and say...."Life is Hard, for EVERYONE! Welcome to the fucking festival of difficulty. Its not easy, it consistently gets harder, and there is no relief. But the second that you think your life is as bad as it can get, look around you. You don't really have it bad at all! You are blessed, and you take it for granted."
Heres the good. I really don't have may deadlines for tomorrow. The kids go to bed in 15 minutes and then its veg in front of my tivo for a couple hours. Hopefully tomorrow is a day of getting caught up on things. Can't wait. I really need to get my shit in order.
Ok, before I go to bed....what is the fascination with men and their penis's! Do you have to hold it all the time? As I write this I am surrounded by three guys....two little and one big. Two of them are holding their penis's, as if they are going to run away. What happens if you let go? Does the world stop spinning? I wonder if the universe requires that a couple million men at any given second have to hold their dicks or the world stops. Quick, grab your penis.....save the world.
On a bit of a soap box tonight....hehe
Awkward
What a cluster fuck today was! One of the boys was sick....and since we have them this week, we have to make arrangements to watch him during the day. Since we both work, it turns out to be a juggling act to try and create coverage. Not to mention that we had to tour a possible Middle School, I started a new consulting project, met with another client, worked with my third client, and am now after cooking dinner, trying to lay out my catalog for my company.
I made pot roast for the first time today. Yup! Pretty awesome, and the best part is that it was awesome! I did the pour a dry onion mix on it and two cokes around it and then cooked it in a crock pot for 8 hours. Viola.....fucking betty crocker!
Heres the good and bad for the day. Good, I really can juggle alot of shit at the same time. Bad....most of the outcome is shit. Haha, when you juggle shit, you end up producing shit. Ironic. Anyhow, at the school tour today, the boys mom went. Obviously. I have a hard time spending over an hour or 3 minutes with her and not comparing us. My fiancee was there, and he is really good about trying to not make it awckward, but I still feel weird. She has had three kids (two with my fiancee and one with her new partner) and she is like a size 0. WTF! Her hips are the diameter of one of my legs. She's pretty in her own way, and I would say other things, but she may one day read this so no. The thing is.....I can't help but be a bit weirded out by it. Should I just truck along as if nothing bothers me? Or should I vent in some sort of a bitchy way and start and argument with my fiancee for no reason. Honestly I think I will do the first. The reason? Because I am writing this, and in some small way I feel like I am getting the shit off my chest. OH YEA speaking of chests! She has a boob job that my fiancee paid for when they were married. She is skinny as a rail and has huge boobs. Anyone can tell that they are not real from her overall frame, but still it bothers me. I have two little craters that look like dimples or a space that someone used an ice cream scoop on. Indentions. Little boy nipples. Nothing. Nada. There are moobs bigger than mine. Enough about moobs......Im fine. My little teeny tiny dents and I have nothing to be ashamed of. Right?
Ok, off to work on my catalog layout (and have another glass of red wine)so that I can get started first thing in the AM with other peoples projects.
I made pot roast for the first time today. Yup! Pretty awesome, and the best part is that it was awesome! I did the pour a dry onion mix on it and two cokes around it and then cooked it in a crock pot for 8 hours. Viola.....fucking betty crocker!
Heres the good and bad for the day. Good, I really can juggle alot of shit at the same time. Bad....most of the outcome is shit. Haha, when you juggle shit, you end up producing shit. Ironic. Anyhow, at the school tour today, the boys mom went. Obviously. I have a hard time spending over an hour or 3 minutes with her and not comparing us. My fiancee was there, and he is really good about trying to not make it awckward, but I still feel weird. She has had three kids (two with my fiancee and one with her new partner) and she is like a size 0. WTF! Her hips are the diameter of one of my legs. She's pretty in her own way, and I would say other things, but she may one day read this so no. The thing is.....I can't help but be a bit weirded out by it. Should I just truck along as if nothing bothers me? Or should I vent in some sort of a bitchy way and start and argument with my fiancee for no reason. Honestly I think I will do the first. The reason? Because I am writing this, and in some small way I feel like I am getting the shit off my chest. OH YEA speaking of chests! She has a boob job that my fiancee paid for when they were married. She is skinny as a rail and has huge boobs. Anyone can tell that they are not real from her overall frame, but still it bothers me. I have two little craters that look like dimples or a space that someone used an ice cream scoop on. Indentions. Little boy nipples. Nothing. Nada. There are moobs bigger than mine. Enough about moobs......Im fine. My little teeny tiny dents and I have nothing to be ashamed of. Right?
Ok, off to work on my catalog layout (and have another glass of red wine)so that I can get started first thing in the AM with other peoples projects.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
So this is life...
I’m 32 years old. I’m engaged for this first time. My fiancée has two little boys that we have 50% of the time. (8 and 10 years old) I own a small business. I do part time consulting on the side for 2 companies. I own a horse (that I never have time for) and two dogs. One indoor little mini schnauzer (with an attitude) and a border collie that lives outside. He is brilliant.
Why am I starting a blog? Because I need to. When I talk to people about my life, they say “that’s a book” “you should write this down”…..so I’m doing it. But not really for others, mostly as a way for me to vent. About everything. For so long I have thought about writing a blog about my business and how stressful that is. Or a blog on being a soon to be step mom. Or a blog on women. The thing is, I am juggling what seems like a thousand things, and at times I feel like I have dropped all my balls. (weird sentence) Lost my marbles? Gone fucking nuts!
I know im not alone, and I don’t claim to have the worst life, or the hardest time. I am hugely blessed and take note of it at every opportunity. But its fucking hard. Life is hard. Love is hard. Family is harder. I’m 32 and feel like im 64. My life is wizzing by me and there is not enough time in the day to get everything done. I need to make sense of it. So this is my blog. My attempt to write what I want, what I feel, and make sense of my chaos.
If you read my blog, thank you. If you have suggestions, send them. I am an open book. I don’t claim to know everything, but I do know that its time to make a change in my life. That change starts today.
365 days of change / chaos, and total shit.
Today I took the day off. Its presidents day, and I “closed” my office for the day. Keep in mind, that just means calling the one person that works a couple hours a day and telling her she has the day off, and then me not answering the phones or emails. I am a workaholic, so this was and is really hard for me. I slept in until 8…..my fiancée had to work, so he was up and walking around the house, so I couldn’t sleep. He tries to be quiet, but hes not, at all. I love him, but when you drop a bottle of vitamins on the hard wood floor, Im up.
So I made a cup of coffee, grabbed a granola bar and went back to bed. I ordered Julie and Julia on On Demand movies. Awesome! I have had “start my online journal” on my to do list for months. Today is the day! I am just starting. When I was in college I took a womens studies class that required morning writings, and I loved it! So this is my digital version of that.
Even though its my day off, its noon and I need to get started. I have a list of 12 things that I would love to do today. Not gonna happen, but maybe it will this week.
Go pick up dogs
Install Microsoft Money
Get a new Kitchen Curtain
Repot a Flower
Take some new pictures to hang in the kitchen
Go to the grocery Store
Find a new exercise program
Take something to return to Costco
Clean the bathroom
Create a cleaning schedule for the house
Make a business phone call
Work on the wedding
Find a teeth whitener
Possibly go to Dillard’s and use my Christmas gift card.
*sigh…..I suck at plants, and cleaning the bathroom is technically my fiancées job, that never seems to happen. That’s why the schedule! We’ll see.
We get the kiddos every Monday. So tonight is our first night of our “on week” with the boys. Our house turns from a quiet peaceful space to total chaos….wrestling, fighting, spilling, homework, soccer, chaos. I dread it and love it at the same time. They are amazing little guys!
Why am I starting a blog? Because I need to. When I talk to people about my life, they say “that’s a book” “you should write this down”…..so I’m doing it. But not really for others, mostly as a way for me to vent. About everything. For so long I have thought about writing a blog about my business and how stressful that is. Or a blog on being a soon to be step mom. Or a blog on women. The thing is, I am juggling what seems like a thousand things, and at times I feel like I have dropped all my balls. (weird sentence) Lost my marbles? Gone fucking nuts!
I know im not alone, and I don’t claim to have the worst life, or the hardest time. I am hugely blessed and take note of it at every opportunity. But its fucking hard. Life is hard. Love is hard. Family is harder. I’m 32 and feel like im 64. My life is wizzing by me and there is not enough time in the day to get everything done. I need to make sense of it. So this is my blog. My attempt to write what I want, what I feel, and make sense of my chaos.
If you read my blog, thank you. If you have suggestions, send them. I am an open book. I don’t claim to know everything, but I do know that its time to make a change in my life. That change starts today.
365 days of change / chaos, and total shit.
Today I took the day off. Its presidents day, and I “closed” my office for the day. Keep in mind, that just means calling the one person that works a couple hours a day and telling her she has the day off, and then me not answering the phones or emails. I am a workaholic, so this was and is really hard for me. I slept in until 8…..my fiancée had to work, so he was up and walking around the house, so I couldn’t sleep. He tries to be quiet, but hes not, at all. I love him, but when you drop a bottle of vitamins on the hard wood floor, Im up.
So I made a cup of coffee, grabbed a granola bar and went back to bed. I ordered Julie and Julia on On Demand movies. Awesome! I have had “start my online journal” on my to do list for months. Today is the day! I am just starting. When I was in college I took a womens studies class that required morning writings, and I loved it! So this is my digital version of that.
Even though its my day off, its noon and I need to get started. I have a list of 12 things that I would love to do today. Not gonna happen, but maybe it will this week.
Go pick up dogs
Install Microsoft Money
Get a new Kitchen Curtain
Repot a Flower
Take some new pictures to hang in the kitchen
Go to the grocery Store
Find a new exercise program
Take something to return to Costco
Clean the bathroom
Create a cleaning schedule for the house
Make a business phone call
Work on the wedding
Find a teeth whitener
Possibly go to Dillard’s and use my Christmas gift card.
*sigh…..I suck at plants, and cleaning the bathroom is technically my fiancées job, that never seems to happen. That’s why the schedule! We’ll see.
We get the kiddos every Monday. So tonight is our first night of our “on week” with the boys. Our house turns from a quiet peaceful space to total chaos….wrestling, fighting, spilling, homework, soccer, chaos. I dread it and love it at the same time. They are amazing little guys!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
